In the Lodge, the children are all screaming, the adults all talking, and my Aunt is busy cooking. The smells of duck and ham start to dance around the room. The kids start to sniff the air and become excited. The adults are all commenting on how good the food smells. But me, I’m looking at the presents and counting how many I have under the tree to open. Behind me, is my Uncle, chuckling at how anxious my twelve-year-old self is to open presents.
We’re outside, my Uncle and I. The water calmly moves back and forth as fish nibble at the food on the surface of the water. The sun bites at my face when I look towards the dock, where I hear the boats bouncing around. I then give my Uncle a quick glance and look back towards the water. As I cast out my line and start to reel in, I hope to catch a fish. At, the same moment I think of how effortlessly my Uncle can catch a fish. I hope I can, one day, be as good a fisher as him. Then again, I’m only thirteen.
A quick splash brings me back down to Earth. I look over, and to no surprise, I see him reeling in a fish. A bass writhing like an angry snake. He looks at me smiling, and I softly laugh. I then cast out my line and start to reel in, as I hope to catch a fish.
Sitting in the deer stand for the first time felt amazing. I’m only thirteen so I can’t be alone, which is why I’m with my Uncle. I hear birds chirping and squirrels busily moving in the trees around us, as if they were involved in rush hour in a big city. There are also butterflies fluttering in the wind. Then, to my surprise, a deer walks out of the tree line. Adrenaline!
My Uncle quickly tells me,”Be quiet. We want the deer to come as close as it can.” I quietly sit back and wait knowing that patience is the key.
A few minutes later my Uncle tells me,”Get your gun ready.” The deer has come closer. “Shoot when you’re ready.” He said. I aimed my gun. My blood is pumping, my heart is pounding, and everything goes silent. I shoot. BOOM! “I dropped it.” I said to my Uncle, who smiled acknowldingly. I had almost forgotten that we were only a couple hundred yards away from the lodge.
I am at the lodge the summer after my fourteenth birthday. My entire family is here swimming and fishing in the lake. I’m sitting with my feet in the lake when my uncle comes and sits by me. “You’re growing up so fast.” He says. I realize he’s telling the truth. I nod my head and look around thinking of how important the times I’ve spent with him are. I gonna miss it, the children all screaming, the adults all talking, and my Aunt cooking.
It looks good. From what I read, there were no spelling errors. You also had pretty good diction.
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